Text Explorations & Dig In

Dialectical Notes

Proposal

I'm interested in Diaz's transition "style," because it makes me wonder how he is able to glide from one style into another without any abrupt or confusing changes. One way to consider this is to close-read how he transitions into the objective correlative and the fantasy.

Homework for May 11

I'm really interested in close-reading Diaz's transitions around his objective correlative and fantasy.  Especially because it was hard for me to understand and pinpoint something deeper than just him swimming through a pool, I think I should focus in on how he switches into a different writing style, rather than what his style actually is.  It was pretty easy for me to grasp a sense of how to mimic one of his styles, but it was a challenge to move from my own style to one of his without having a sudden and abrupt change in the way my story sounds.  He seems to glide into a new style, and so I am really going to focus on how he is able to do so.

Passage 1: "My mom was overwhelmed with the amount of items I decided to take with me." I was thinking that after this I can include some dialogue using Diaz's way of mixing together dialogue and narration.  I can say how my mom actually felt and how my annoyed my dad was as he had to bring all of my bags down to the basement and into our car.

Passage 2: "They became the sisters I always wished for." I can finally reveal a few names, as I have been holding off any name throughout my whole story.  I also think that adding the detail I wrote in class today with a new writing style would reveal what they thought of me, so at the same time I would express my feelings towards them and their feelings towards me.

Rough Draft

Elizabeth Vasilyev May 6, 2015

Raw Draft

I was first introduced to the idea of going to sleep-away camp from my mom’s friend in 2011, whose daughter happened to already been going to camp for about three summers.  It was an all girl’s camp in New Hampshire, so basically an all girl’s camp in the middle of nowhere.  I didn’t know how I felt about going away for half the summer: away from my friends and family at home.  My mom actually wanted to get me out of the house over the summer, especially because my daily summer routine was the same every day and she knew how boring it got to always wake up, go to the beach, come home to shower and eat lunch, go back out with friends, and finally come home late at night, right in time to say goodnight to my parents.  She thought I was wasting my days.  In all honesty, I was just having fun and enjoying my “homework-free” days.  So, my mom decided that sleep-away camp would be the perfect solution to get me off the Internet and expose me to the beauty of nature.  Personally, I thought going to camp meant I could be cool and stay up all night telling ghost stories by the fire with my friends.  I would have half the summer to chill out and take it easy without having my parents bug me every day about when to do this and when to do that.  The eleven year old that I was, having the chance to take charge and responsibility of myself miles away from my parents was an offer I couldn’t resist.  And so this is when it all began.

The first day of camp was pretty exciting, yet horrifying on the inside for me.  I was all packed and ready with about ten different bags and boxes of clothing, accessories, and all the other good stuff a girl always has to have.  My mom was overwhelmed with the amount of items I decided to take with me.  We had to get out on the road at around five in the morning because New Hampshire was about a six hour drive away and the camp officially welcomed the campers at twelve in the afternoon.  The drive was tiring and long, particularly for my dad who had to drive the whole way.  As we drove from state to state, down to NH, the cities began to look more peaceful and calm, far from how New York City ever appeared.  Once we reached the state of New Hampshire, everything around us was filled with grass fields, farms, and relaxing people.  Grass lawns looked so mellow and green that I couldn’t believe I was living in reality.  Everything was so different and it felt as if I have entered a new planet, a planet with a complete contrary environment to that of which I live amongst.  Immediately as I began to lose service on my phone, I understood that I was nearby the campsite, because as expected, the camp was located in the middle of fields and fields of plantations and occasional farmhouses.  

As soon as we reached the campsite, I began to think about the girls I would meet and the friendships I would hopefully create.  I only knew one girl at the camp through my mom’s friend, and I didn’t really know the girl too well.  I was worried that everyone would judge me on how I look, what I wear, and what I do.  I felt as if I had to fit in if I wanted to survive the next month of my life.  I think I was most startled about having to sleep in the same room with other girls, mainly because I’m an only child so usually it’s always quiet.  Getting out of the car and breathing in the fresh air of the leafy trees around me, the counselors came up to us.  They greeted us, and for a second, I lost the feeling of anxiety.  The counselors, who were also girls, were from all over the world – some from Australia, others from England, and several from Germany.  My mind was telling me everything will be all right, and quickly I began to believe it.  The counselors helped my parents and I bring my things to our cabin.  I was in cabin 6.  It was a pretty small and ordinary cabin with six beds in total, three aligned on each side.  Part of me was scared and nervous to sleep in a cabin, and that fear came from where the cabin was located.  We were in a small cabin, located by a road, with no cellphone service, and in New Hampshire.  I supposed that the idea of someone coming to harm us in the middle of nowhere was very unlikely, and I was relieved to find out that there was a man who watches over the camp at night.  

The best and most memorable moment of the first day of camp was definitely when I met the girls in my age group.  I remember myself feeling like I had to act cool to fit in, but the girls were open to accept me for who I really was.  There were about twenty-five of us in the whole age group, and it honestly surprised me that they were all so generous towards me.  Some of the girls in my age group came from Europe, while the rest of us where from all over the United States.  I thought it was really cool that we were such a diverse group of girls, and I couldn’t wait to get to know them all.  The first night we got together as a group in one of our cabins and just talked to each other and got to know how everyone was and how everyone’s year was.  They were all so enthusiastic about returning to camp, showing that camp was their second home where they got to spend the summer of their lives with their second family.  Their reactions to seeing one another and being able to spend a whole summer together made me wish that next year, when I return, I can feel the same way.  

As days that turned into weeks, I had more and more fun with the girls and spent my days swimming, rock-climbing, playing tennis, and riding horses.  On occasion when the sun wasn’t shining and the cold air ran against my skin, I found myself thinking about my parents.  I would picture them right beside me, comforting me and telling me how much they love me.  They would hug me and we would sit by the fireplace in a cottage house with a view of the lake’s still waters.  The fire, warming me physically and emotionally, would sit beside us.  She wouldn’t talk, she would just quietly listen in on our conversations.  Sometimes she would get angry at the thunder screaming outside.  Her warmth filled my body with serenity.  I felt protected having my family and her surround me.  Her scent filled the air with a tender and gentle aroma.  Glaring at us with her bright, flaming red eyes, I felt relieved and safe.  I knew nothing can harm us, and soon, we will be all together and everything will be back to normal.

I began to look forward for every summer after being able to spend four weeks with the most adventurous people I have ever met.  I can remember us sitting around in the middle of the cabin, drinking milk and eating chocolate chip cookies, and talking about how thrilled we are for our final year at camp.  We would hang out all together as an age group so often that we practically all lived in the same cabin.  Tubing around the lake at night, playing on the tennis courts when it got dark, and running around the camp when it was almost midnight are truly moments I will never forget.  We laughed together when someone said something silly, and cried together when one of us missed our parents at home.  They became the sisters I always wished for.  

Over the years, the relationships I have built with many of the girls have grown stronger.  We chat as a group online almost everyday, and are always talking about how we can’t wait to experience the summer of 2015, the summer during which we are the oldest group at the camp.  We’ve been counting down till the day we get to see each other for months now, and everyday, we get more and more excited.  I have shared numerous fantastic memories with them all, and I treasure each and every moment as if there is no tomorrow.  Now that I look back on my first year at camp, I don’t regret a single instant because I am so proud of how the experience changed me, and the friendships that it has let me make.  Camp friends are always the best kind, aren’t they!

Raw Draft for Creative Non-Fiction Essay

I was first introduced to the idea of going to sleep-away camp from my mom’s friend in 2011, whose daughter happened to already been going to camp for about three summers.  It was an all girl’s camp in New Hampshire, so basically an all girl’s camp in the middle of nowhere.  I didn’t know how I felt about going away for half the summer: away from my friends and family at home.  My mom actually wanted to get me out of the house over the summer, especially because my daily summer routine was the same every day and she knew how boring it got to always wake up, go to the beach, come home to shower and eat lunch, go back out with friends, and finally come home late at night, right in time to say goodnight to my parents.  She thought I was wasting my days.  In all honesty, I was just having fun and enjoying my “homework-free” days.  So, my mom decided that sleep-away camp would be the perfect solution to get me off the Internet and expose me to the beauty of nature.  Personally, I thought going to camp meant I could be cool and stay up all night telling ghost stories by the fire with my friends.  I would have half the summer to chill out and take it easy without having my parents bug me every day about when to do this and when to do that.  The eleven year old that I was, having the chance to take charge and responsibility of myself miles away from my parents was an offer I couldn’t resist.  And so this is when it all began.

            The first day of camp was pretty exciting, yet horrifying on the inside for me.  I was all packed and ready with about ten different bags and boxes of clothing, accessories, and all the other good stuff a girl always has to have.  My mom was overwhelmed with the amount of items I decided to take with me.  We had to get out on the road at around five in the morning because New Hampshire was about a six hour drive away and the camp officially welcomed the campers at twelve in the afternoon.  The drive was tiring and long, particularly for my dad who had to drive the whole way.  As we drove from state to state, down to NH, the cities began to look more peaceful and calm, far from how New York City ever appeared.  Once we reached the state of New Hampshire, everything around us was filled with grass fields, farms, and relaxing people.  Grass lawns looked so mellow and green that I couldn’t believe I was living in reality.  Everything was so different and it felt as if I have entered a new planet, a planet with a complete contrary environment to that of which I live amongst.  Immediately as I began to lose service on my phone, I understood that I was nearby the campsite, because as expected, the camp was located in the middle of fields and fields of plantations and occasional farmhouses. 

            As soon as we reached the campsite, I began to think about the girls I would meet and the friendships I would hopefully create.  I only knew one girl at the camp through my mom’s friend, and I didn’t really know the girl too well.  I was worried that everyone would judge me on how I look, what I wear, and what I do.  I felt as if I had to fit in if I wanted to survive the next month of my life.  I think I was most startled about having to sleep in the same room with other girls, mainly because I’m an only child so usually it’s always quiet.  Getting out of the car and breathing in the fresh air of the leafy trees around me, the counselors came up to us.  They greeted us, and for a second, I lost the feeling of anxiety.  The counselors, who were also girls, were from all over the world – some from Australia, others from England, and several from Germany.  My mind was telling me everything will be all right, and quickly I began to believe it.  The counselors helped my parents and I bring my things to our cabin.  I was in cabin 6.  It was a pretty small and ordinary cabin with six beds in total, three aligned on each side.  Part of me was scared and nervous to sleep in a cabin, and that fear came from where the cabin was located.  We were in a small cabin, located by a road, with no cellphone service, and in New Hampshire.  I supposed that the idea of someone coming to harm us in the middle of nowhere was very unlikely, and I was relieved to find out that there was a man who watches over the camp at night. 

The best and most memorable moment of the first day of camp was definitely when I met the girls in my age group.  I remember myself feeling like I had to act cool to fit in, but the girls were open to accept me for who I really was.  There were about twenty-five of us in the whole age group, and it honestly surprised me that they were all so generous towards me.  Some of the girls in my age group came from Europe, while the rest of us where from all over the United States.  I thought it was really cool that we were such a diverse group of girls, and I couldn’t wait to get to know them all.  The first night we got together as a group in one of our cabins and just talked to each other and got to know how everyone was and how everyone’s year was.  They were all so enthusiastic about returning to camp, as it showed that camp was their second home where they got to spend the summer of their lives with their second family.  Their reactions to seeing one another made me feel hopeful to be able to feel like that the next summer. 

Over the years, the relationships I have built with many of the girls have grown stronger.  We chat as a group online almost everyday, and are always talking about how we can’t wait to experience the summer of 2015, the summer during which we are the oldest group at the camp.  We’ve been counting down till the day we get to see each other for months now, and everyday, we get more and more excited.  I have shared numerous fantastic memories with them all, and I treasure each and every moment as if there is no tomorrow.  Now that I look back on my first year at camp, I don’t regret a single instant because I am so proud of how the experience changed me, and the friendships that it has let me make.  Camp friends are always the best kind, aren’t they!

Edison, New Jersey reading notes